The Common Denominator

Have you ever noticed how often we find life to be disappointing? It started very early. We didn't get the toy that we wanted for our birthday, or our friend got a better bike than we did for Christmas. As we grew older the disappointments seemed to go deeper. The person we'd given our heart to broke up with us for our best friend (OK, previous best friend!). Our parents told us that we had to move away from our friends or worse yet, they said they were getting divorced. On and on the scenario goes as we age and as life "happens". Maybe we are the ones divorcing or losing a parent to cancer or losing a job and struggling to make ends meet. Even though there are "ups" in the midst of all the valleys, the mountain top joy doesn't seem to remain and the valley looms closer and closer with each passing moment. Unfortunately, this describes life here on this rotating sphere we call earth. Do you wonder why God allows these things and why they seem to be never-ending? Well, recently I have seen a tiny speck of clarity as to the "why" and "how come" of disappointments.

As I was dealing with one of my own frustrations in life, an interesting thought came to my mind. It was this: It is not others that disappoint me, but my expectations of them. I pondered this for awhile and as I dismantled a number of the frustrations and disappointments that I had faced over the years, I realized there was great truth to this idea. My expectations seemed to be a common denominator to my disappointments. Consider the gift that you didn't get for your birthday; wasn't it the expectation of your parents to purchase the gift that caused the disappointment? What about the relationship that went sour; was it an expectation that the other person didn't meet that caused hard feelings and bitterness? I am not saying that we shouldn't have expectations of faithfulness in a spouse or loyalty in an employer, but what I am saying is just simply that when we expect others to behave in a certain fashion, no matter what the circumstances, there is a possibility we will be disappointed.

This week's verse comes into play here because in the "grand plan", "the big picture", we really don't have any knowledge about tomorrow or the next minute for that matter. When we expect things to go a certain way, we truly have little or no control over it. Ultimately, planning and expectations are fine as long as we don't set them in concrete. As I have been learning to go with the flow and to bend like a tree in the wind, I have had fewer disappointments along the way. It isn't through my ability though. It is through the grace and mercy of our lord Jesus Christ. He gives me the patience and the faith to go with His flow. As I seek His will in my life, I am learning to allow Him to take me in His direction. If there are disappointments along the way, I am beginning to realize that they are there because He has allowed them and they are a tool He is using to grow me and change me. I suppose it comes down to how we choose to handle life's disappointments. Will you start by seeking God's will in your life? Next, will you accept the path that He leads you down, especially if it isn't what you expected? And lastly, will you trust in His sovereignty and wisdom to know what is best for you? I guarantee that if you do these things, you will find joy that remains whether you are on the mountain or in the valley because you will be right in the middle of His will. There is no better place in which to be!