The "F" Word

Did I catch your attention? Good! Even though I am not going to talk about the more common "F" word, the one I have in mind is treated in a similar fashion. It is used frequently and is thrown around without thinking in many cases. The word is forgiveness. How many times have you tossed it out there without much sincerity behind it? Do you "forgive" your spouse when they offend you with their words only to help the tension dissipate? Do you forgive your friend because you know that she will feel guilty for days on end if you don't? In any case the bitterness and irritation may still be alive and well and in fact thriving in some cases. I am doing a Bible study about King David this summer and as I thought about forgiveness I contemplated the affects that the lack of true forgiveness has in our lives; but not forgiveness towards others, forgiveness towards ourselves.  

God is so wise in His desire for us to be holy people. Most of my Christian life I have spent believing that He wants us to be holy so that we can set a good example to others. As we walk a holy life, we can show that there is an ability through the Holy Spirit to live out a life pleasing to God. This is a very true principle to the Christian faith; however, I recently realized another reason God desires obedience from us. As I thought about the sin in David's life and the recent sin in my own, I considered the guilt and the condemnation that I felt. David, too, felt this cloud of despair and the separation from the Lord as he wrote Psalm 51. God knew that sin would lead us to guilt and guilt would cause us to create a wall between ourselves and God. It isn't because He doesn't forgive us our sins, but because we have a hard time forgiving ourselves. This lack of forgiveness causes a dam that blocks the flow of relationship and the longer the dam exists the harder it is to break the drought of connection with the Lord.

My sin was a bad attitude. I wasn't behaving with the appropriate heart in a certain situation and I was irritated. This irritation within myself caused me to feel unworthy of being in His presence. Commencement of the dam building had begun! As the first day went into the second and then the third, I found it more and more difficult to talk to Him. I didn't want to linger and go on and on in apology about my sin because we are supposed to go to Him, repent and move on, yet I felt that if I moved on too quickly, I was acting as though I had done nothing wrong! Hence, God's wisdom! He knows what sin will lead to; that it causes us to build a dam and that it can cause conflict within our own hearts regarding the forgiveness that we just can't seem to give ourselves. Yes, God does want obedience from us for many reasons, but He doesn't necessarily request it just for His own glory, but for our preservation as well. 

For which sins have you not forgiven yourself? Do you have a mighty dam that has stopped-up your relationship with the Lord? Do you find it difficult to go to Him without feeling lowly and pitiful? Take heart! Go to Him right now and repent. Share your every feeling and thought and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. That is what God wants from us. WE are the ones who don't let go. God has already moved on and so should we! Pray the words of Psalm 51 in all or part. If it truly is God against whom we have sinned and He has forgiven us, shouldn't we be able to forgive ourselves?