Approximately every 4 minutes these three words, "Love, Honor and Obey" are said somewhere in the U.S. as people say their wedding vows. Without a doubt, more time is spent in finding the right dress and making all of the arrangements, than is spent contemplating what these words really mean. Probably less than half of the couples getting married consider the specific words to their vows, unless of course they are removing some or all of these words and replacing them with something that isn't so "restrictive". I shared these words with my husband over twenty years ago and honestly, I had no idea what they meant or how to live them out. I truly believe, that until a husband and wife know the Lord, they don't have the ability to do any of them. Oh we may think that we can, but time will prove that to "love, honor and obey" is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit.
It is easy to "love" for the first few months, maybe even years, but with time, the casualties of life take us down and we become a little tired of the things we used to think were cute. "Honor" is something that goes hand in hand with love. As we love our spouse we honor them, but as the love fades, the honor isn't far behind. Let's say that in the early years, the way they snored used to help us get to sleep. Wedded bliss clouded our minds into thinking of it as a sweet little bedtime hymn, but as the years passed the snore became an irritating interruption to our much needed beauty rest. Now love and honor go right out the window when we are complaining about this to our friends. "Obedience" is one that I think is said mostly because of tradition, especially in the current era of women's rights and equality in the relationship. It's never really treated with any sincereity. Unfortunately this is a major error in light of God's plan for marriage.
It is only after we are able to experience the unconditional love that God gives to us after we accept Him as our Savior, that we are able to love others with a selfless heart. God helps us to understand that the world doesn't revolve around "me" and "my issues". God's love allows us to put our spouse first. As we see God forgive us for our sins-big, little and in between-we are able to develop a softness in our hearts for the shortcomings of our spouse. Honor isn't so quick to depart because we realize that God's forgiveness has a ripple affect. We love them for who God made them to be and we honor them because of that. Love and honor are the easier ones to incorporate into our lives after accepting God's forgiveness. The tough one is obedience!
God has a lot to say about submission in His Word. He instructs husbands to be obedient and submit to Christ and to love their wives as Jesus loves the church. He teaches women to be submissive to their husbands and to respect them. He doesn't say to do these things only if the spouse deserves it! We are to do these things in spite of their behavior. Obedience in God's eyes isn't just for the women. And I can tell you from personal experience that when my husband IS being obedient to the Lord, obeying him is much easier! BUT, it isn't a prerequisite to wives obeying their husbands. Given the way society views submission to anything these days, enacting this into a marriage is very difficult. However, if it is put into play, the marriage will be stronger and healthier for it!
If these three words have been exchanged between you and your spouse, or they will be exchanged in the future, go through God's Word and explore the definition He has given each one. Certainly look up Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1st Peter 3:1-7 for a summary regarding husband and wives. You will be blessed and so will your marriage!
No comments:
Post a Comment